What do we call a female bro? Bro-ette? Girly-bro?

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 06/29/2014 at 17:27 • Filed to: None

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I spotted this Jeep at the grocery store today. It's got the usual bro truck lifted suspension to clear shiny wheels with bigass tires, and a decepticon badge on the fender right below the antenna. But then...a little something different. Yup, a pink bull bar, and pink Wrangler and Rubicon decals.

So what exactly are we supposed to call this person and their vehicle?

PheeNoIVI > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:28

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Well female bros are usually called lesbians?

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:29

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Barbie.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:32

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Wouldn't call that a "bro truck". That's an okay off road set up, looks like a 3/4 inch lift of 34's but the tread isn't all that aggressive. The only thing I can think of it being guilty of is being an asphalt queen.

CRider > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:34

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I'm more offended by the chrome in the grill than the pink bar. But if the Brosephina takes it off road, I have no problem with it. I think I'd go with an inch or two smaller lift though.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:36

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Sis????

Textured Soy Protein > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/29/2014 at 17:40

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I dunno, these wheels look to me like they're for show more than anything else. Plus, overall it was pretty spotless except a bunch of bug splats on the grille.

Spaceball-Two > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:40

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I dunno. I'd let my wife rock it.

PS9 > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:41

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She needs a big Jeep to compensate for being so tiny.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:42

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Hence why I said it was more of an asphalt queen, you need another 4-5 inches of lift to reach bro truck.

Kat Callahan > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:45

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You can just call me Kat.

offroadkarter > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:46

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its not a bro truck, its not even a truck, its just a jeep chick

davedave1111 > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:47

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Stuart?

Kat Callahan > PheeNoIVI 06/29/2014 at 17:49

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There are femmes you know. Not all lesbians have a masculine gender expression, and the pink makes me think this is a southern prepster. Most likely straight.

Slickdeal > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 17:51

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The correct feminine declension of "bro" is "bra". She drives a bra truck. Sorta fits?

PheeNoIVI > Kat Callahan 06/29/2014 at 17:54

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I know, it was just a joke.

Kat Callahan > PheeNoIVI 06/29/2014 at 17:58

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The lesbian spectrum is quite interesting. I'm a tomboy femme, specifically. Although there could be straight tomboy femmes, too.

CPT Speedbump > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/29/2014 at 18:17

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Which is exactly what a bro truck is though, a asphalt queen, the only difference being that bro trucks are..well..trucks

Textured Soy Protein > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/29/2014 at 18:35

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I guess I don't get too caught up on the differences between bro trucks and asphalt queens.

I actually don't mind if people hook up their trucks/Jeeps/SUVs/whateveryouwannacallems in this manner. Sure, I wouldn't do it, and it's kind of silly to set it up for off-road driving and then not using that capability, but hey whatever.

Just that when I see such vehicles, my immediate thought is, "nice truck, bruh ."

Textured Soy Protein > Kat Callahan 06/29/2014 at 18:35

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Only problem with the southern prepster guess is this is Wisconsin.

Textured Soy Protein > offroadkarter 06/29/2014 at 18:37

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I know it's not a truck. I didn't have any better way to describe a 4x4 vehicle with a lift, big tires on too-fancy-to-really-go-muddin wheels, and other assorted "off-road" froufrou that's most likely just for the look.

Gimmi-Sagan-Om-Draken > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 19:01

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Thats a Lezzzbro

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 19:07

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chivette?

Kat Callahan > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 19:14

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Midwest Prepster with strong Southern/Country identification then? Prepster is still my guess. Just needs a bit more Lily Pulitzer accent to be full-bore prep though.

offroadkarter > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 19:56

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"jeep"

The Compromiser > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 20:40

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I'm confused. I thought that they were all girls? You know making up for the no dick thing?

Trolololol

All Corgis All the Time > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/29/2014 at 20:42

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My Jeep Rubicon has big ass tires (I drive to Fort McMurray in the winter sometimes - I need big ass tires) and while it looks jacked up on purpose, it isn't. It's just the tires. But my winter tires look bigger and meaner than hers. They also are studded.

Sally O'Broder > Textured Soy Protein 06/29/2014 at 23:05

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She's obviously a CyBrotronian driving a RuBrocon.

Garrett Davis > Textured Soy Protein 06/30/2014 at 02:47

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Surprised no one gave you the correct answer, and since we pretty much invented Bros here in SoCal, I can say with authority that the word you're looking for is "Bro Hoe."

Roy > Textured Soy Protein 06/30/2014 at 08:12

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brosephine!!!!

thebigbossyboss > Textured Soy Protein 07/01/2014 at 00:32

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A basic bitch.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Textured Soy Protein 07/01/2014 at 01:07

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I'm so embarrassed for my state.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Textured Soy Protein 07/01/2014 at 01:12

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I've been waiting for this...

Back in high school, we had a term for people that drove these...Chads. Chads are easy to spot..usually wearing gym shorts, crew socks, and flip-flops as well as a tank with some over-used and oft-mis-ascribed sports quote on the back and sometimes a flat brim. They like to speak loudly and proclaim their superiority (idiocy?) to everyone within shouting distance. They are frequently seen using the words "dude" and "bro" to such excess that it's usually hard to figure out what they're saying. They like driving trucks, pretending that they like country music, and warming the bench on the football team. Usually spoiled, loud, and smell of dollar-store Axe scents. For extra effect, the colloquial "ChadBro" is fine.

After introducing this term to my college friends, who then spread it all across their respective friend groups, we had to think long and hard about what to call the female version. We all know them...women that are almost indistinguishable from men in that they do all the things listed above, although usually with long hair and somehow managing to flaunt their assets. One night during a heavy drinking session...it came to us...ChadHoe.

So, I vote that we refer to them as such from now on.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > Textured Soy Protein 07/01/2014 at 01:39

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Is a female Bro a "Broad?"